Fly Like an Eagle

to the sea and to the mountain and to the plains.  I fly. Alot. Most of it is part of The Job but sometimes it is personal and mostly it is all fun.

However.

Having just done a marathon week of flying, jumping plane to plane to plane, I have to say (or type) a few things

1. For more than 10 years we have had to remove shoes to go thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

2. Psst. When they say “we will board in group order staring with Group 1 …” that means Group 4 will not be first to board, please move out of the way so Group 1 can get to the boarding area.

3. Why are you standing in the way as we exit the plane? Surely you realize we have to come off *before* you can come on?

4. Why are you stopping in the middle of the exit when you leave the plane? Could you not step aside to adjust your bag/look at your ticket/scratch your nether region?

5. For more than 10 years we have had to remove everything from pockets before going thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

6. Did you see the box showing the size for carry-ons? I’m pretty sure your full size, fully stuffed, suitcase is not going to fit and your pushing on it will not change that situation. Just give it to the flight attendant and move on to your seat so we can leave.

7. For more than 10 years we have had to remove laptops from cases before going thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

8. Ma’am the baby cannot help screaming during take-off/landing. The poor thing is in pain due to ear pressure. The mom is doing everything she can to help. Stop glaring at the poor woman.

9. For more than 10 years we have not been allowed to carry bottles of water/pop/soda thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

10. Sir, the flight attendant cannot legally seat you in the emergency row after you explained you just had open heart surgery and cannot walk. I understand you want more legroom, I do too but I’d also like a chance at living if something should happen to the plane and I have to use the emergency exit.

11.  Ma’am, if there is no more space for your rightly sized luggage, there is no more space. Your furious rant at the flight attendant does not magically make more room appear. Just give it to the flight attendant and move on to your seat so we can leave.

12. I understand you are trying to get to your seat but could you please watch your backpack? I’m bruised enough from bags hitting me as people go down the aisle.

12. We *all* have to use that bathroom, please wipe it up when you pee on the seat.

What is it that annoys you to distraction during travel?