Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Psst, THEY are cancelling it!

July 29, 2016 Leave a comment

ERIL-L has had an interesting chain – actually, they have several but I am looking at one in particular… “Publisher complaint – how would you respond?

Apparently an unnamed publisher/vendor representative complained to a faculty member of a university  (in email) that the library was cancelling <gasp> a resource!!! HORRORS!

This unnamed wanker* deliberately tried to incite the university faculty to make the library keep it! Said wanker even implied, no, I misread, SAID that s/he doubted the library had even told the faculty. Those mean, arbitrary librarians. Heck, they probably took time off from nibbling bon-bons to gleefully redline Extremely Important Resources.

Because, you know, we never ask or review or painstakingly detail usage, costs, overlap or anything else and we would never think (all on our own) to ASK faculty if something is useful to them. No. We just run amok (amok amok amok).

I hope this was just a youngster who didn’t know better but has learned from this experience. I hope it isn’t like the sales rep who came to my library years ago, without an appointment, then threw a hissy fit at the circ desk because I was not available to meet. He did this more than once … full walleyed hissy fit. At Circ. Both amusing and horrifying.

*technical term, learned it from my UK colleagues

Categories: humor, librarian

Park it where?

I love my job. I love traveling to all sorts of libraries all across the land to provide service and help. It thrills me to be allowed into all these venerable institutions, to listen and learn and perhaps make their lives easier with services.

What I do not always enjoy is the game “find the library” and “find the parking”. Each new-to-me institution is a new adventure which often involves the quickly squashed hope of finding exactly where to go to park.

Some are wonderful. Wait, no, make that a few.  And others, whilst not gentle, are still doable/findable. Some librarians are long versed in the difficulties of ‘outsiders’ finding their homes and have developed lovely maps and …. dare I say it?  LibGuides for Parking. One very memorable librarian even extended the directions to indoors (“turn left at the green couch”). Another took the campus PDF and inserted very helpful notes (seriously thought the “too far” was “too fat” and wondered what that meant).

Most however are exercises in frustration. Hours spend trying to enlarge the type on the campus provided map.  Why, oh why can the library not be listed in the map legend as “library”?  I don’t always know that it is called Jim Bob Book Learnin’ Place and have spend up to 20 minutes trying to find it on the itty bitty PDF (enlarged for my old eyes then many, many, many mouse moves to examine each inch). The ‘interactive’ maps are even worse – they quickly zoom down to the library (when you have the right name) but how do I find it from parking/walking? And can I get a print* to take with me on my trek?

Then there is the adventure of where am I allowed to park? Can I park? Do I need a pass? Where do I get a pass? What documents do I need (insurance, license plate, driver’s license, blood type, DNA sample…)? Does it cost? Can I pay with credit? Do I need cash? Do I need quarters (yes, this has happened)?

Sigh. OK. Back to figuring it all out.

*yes, fine, I am a Luddite who likes the printed map. I like to see the bigger picture. And since the GPS does not lead me to parking on your campus … it is necessary.

Categories: humor, librarian, travel Tags: ,

Worse. Job. Ever.

June 20, 2014 1 comment

(says the Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons).  I’m in a great job now but when I feel less than happy with whatever, I think back to my Worse Job Ever and perspective jumps back in line.

Everyone has had them. Horrible bosses. Mean or stupid (or both) co-workers. Difficult patrons/library users/folk walking in the door. I was pleased my niece’s first job was her worse thus far (she has had only 2). She now can measure everything against Crazy Boss and not feel so angry about crumbs on the break room table (seriously people, is it that hard to wipe?).

Some jobs have bad moments. Some have bad weeks. Some have bad everything.

What was mine? Well my measuring stick is more about chairs. Seems in a former work environment we had a person who would, er, soil your chair. And by “soil” I mean like a baby using a diaper. To this day I am not sure if it was deliberate or not. He did not seem to notice nor care as a smelly, messy trail followed him from place to place. There were many other lovely things (this is sarcasm) at this place of employment  – co-workers attempting to drive over other co-workers in the parking lot, hiding spiders in your desk, searching your office and re-arranging things, and much much more!

Today is a brand new day. The sun is shining, the world is rounding,  and my chair is very clean.

Fly Like an Eagle

June 14, 2014 1 comment

to the sea and to the mountain and to the plains.  I fly. Alot. Most of it is part of The Job but sometimes it is personal and mostly it is all fun.


Having just done a marathon week of flying, jumping plane to plane to plane, I have to say (or type) a few things

1. For more than 10 years we have had to remove shoes to go thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

2. Psst. When they say “we will board in group order staring with Group 1 …” that means Group 4 will not be first to board, please move out of the way so Group 1 can get to the boarding area.

3. Why are you standing in the way as we exit the plane? Surely you realize we have to come off *before* you can come on?

4. Why are you stopping in the middle of the exit when you leave the plane? Could you not step aside to adjust your bag/look at your ticket/scratch your nether region?

5. For more than 10 years we have had to remove everything from pockets before going thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

6. Did you see the box showing the size for carry-ons? I’m pretty sure your full size, fully stuffed, suitcase is not going to fit and your pushing on it will not change that situation. Just give it to the flight attendant and move on to your seat so we can leave.

7. For more than 10 years we have had to remove laptops from cases before going thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

8. Ma’am the baby cannot help screaming during take-off/landing. The poor thing is in pain due to ear pressure. The mom is doing everything she can to help. Stop glaring at the poor woman.

9. For more than 10 years we have not been allowed to carry bottles of water/pop/soda thru airport security. It was in the news, on TV shows, heck several movies depict this adventure. Why are you surprised?

10. Sir, the flight attendant cannot legally seat you in the emergency row after you explained you just had open heart surgery and cannot walk. I understand you want more legroom, I do too but I’d also like a chance at living if something should happen to the plane and I have to use the emergency exit.

11.  Ma’am, if there is no more space for your rightly sized luggage, there is no more space. Your furious rant at the flight attendant does not magically make more room appear. Just give it to the flight attendant and move on to your seat so we can leave.

12. I understand you are trying to get to your seat but could you please watch your backpack? I’m bruised enough from bags hitting me as people go down the aisle.

12. We *all* have to use that bathroom, please wipe it up when you pee on the seat.

What is it that annoys you to distraction during travel?

Fun with Searching!

July 6, 2013 Leave a comment

Ever search random ideas, things or thoughts? Do it then watch the “ads” appear! A friend was over, we wondered if we could make pigs in a blanket without buying canned dough (you can) … now my “ads” all feature recipes, blankets, hot dog brand names, and (my favorite) actual piglets in blankets.


I did a blog a while back about cyber-stalking advertisements and it still amuses me how fun it can be. And now many major telecommunications groups (AT&T, Verizon, etc.) are planning to or are already selling your particular search history to others. Theoretically the “individual identification” is removed. Uh huh. Sure it is. No one could possible track me down … right Target?

Categories: humor, internet, privacy Tags:

Shhh, habitual reading

June 6, 2013 Leave a comment

Oh Laurel, you always make me think! With Reading Habits of Professionals, you did it again.  I love to see people reading – reading anything at all. Even if I don’t like that author or genre or series, the person is reading. You can’t judge a book by its cover. You can’t judge a reader by the reading.

I do not exactly hide my books or reading materials but…well, they are not in full view to the casual visitor. I’m not ashamed of my reading, I rather like my mysteries and occasional Sci-Fi and Fantasy. I’ve been known to indulge in romance and dip my reading glasses into non-fiction areas too. I just don’t have any bookcases in “public” areas of the abode.

When I fancied I might actually write books, I collected a lovely set of reference materials. My family may have been a bit concerned about the “how to” books on poison, guns, and other disposal methodology. I joyfully recall the look on the face of the clerk at the bookstore as I piled up the Big Stack of Potential Mayhem with big grin and hand full of cash; I often wonder if his call to the FBI was taken seriously.

Keep on reading. Romance. Urban Fantasy. Western. Biography. Cookery. Heavy tomes of desert dry text. Read it. Enjoy it. Flaunt it.


May 30, 2013 3 comments

Do you read Miss Information? I do. I’m okay with okay and I understand how others may not be okay with okay but still, I’m okay.

In a class I taught some years ago I made a mistake. I misspoke. I said something entirely erroneous. Someone in the class spoke up and noted my blunder.  I replied, “Thank you! My bad – I should have said blank and not blunk. Thank you so much for correcting me!”**

In the course evaluations, one of the class took me to task for this action.  Was the person upset that I was wrong? No! The person was upset because I admitted it and, horrors, admitted it using slang! “Never,” I was admonished on the anonymous form, “Never admit you were wrong and do not use slang as both actions show you to be an idiot.”

Oh. My bad.

**I dislike being wrong but I really despise the wrong information being given out. Correct information trumps any embarrassment. Always.

Categories: humor, librarian Tags: , ,

Conference food

April 5, 2012 3 comments

Show of hands – how many others come out of a conference GAINING weight?

I just attended a great conference, not just great because of the wonderful program (more later after I digest it all) but also because of the neverending, fantastic tasting FOOD. Everywhere. Great food. And drink (I drank enough great coffee and tea to float the hotel).

Free food is calorie free – so go ahead and indulge! Vendor dinner? Have that rich dessert! Break time? Cookies AND brownies thankyouverymuch! Buffet breakfast? Bacon for everyone!

Sigh. If only. This particular conference recognized the need for healthy options (break time is not just for cookies anymore). They also had yoga. Yes – YOGA at a librarian conference. FREE yoga! I was so pleased to try this out (really yoga? sore after a relaxation? guess I’m stiffer than I knew). The organizers kept us moving, room to room and up and down stairs.

I totally deserved the  cup o’gummy worms after that workout!

We can be Heroes

January 17, 2012 Leave a comment

Apparently we are heroes!  There is a wonderful list of “20 heroic librarians who save the world“. I love how we are evolving from the mousy spinsters and shushers to ÜberPeople Who Control Knowledge.

Categories: humor, librarian Tags:

Jack of all trades

January 6, 2012 Leave a comment

A librarian is a jack of all trades and master of all too. Well, master of knowledge of all trades. Well, master of where to find information on all trades.

I learned something vital during the holidays this year. If you are with your very extended family and you really want some quiet alone time…answer the questions. All the questions. When an exasperated relative shouts “That was rhetorical!” Explain what rhetorical means. If possible, pull out supporting evidence with your iTablet/nettop/kindle-nook/smart phone or the old standby, a physical book. Bonus points if you come back to the Questioner several hours later with documentation.

Truly, I have the most patient extended family in history.

Categories: humor, librarian Tags: , ,